A Squeak, A Squawk, A Groan

I have never claimed to be a fix-it person. In fact, I am the first one to hand over my wrenches, the duct tape, all the fencing wire and twine, and all the other tools that most people use, when someone claims to be a fixer.

Where many others have the ability to mend, repair, replace or simply fix a thing, my claim to fame is strictly in knowing when something is in need of repair. I know broke backward and forward. The trouble comes in when I try to describe the problem. As I see it, my words have a tendency to fail me in the most crucial of times. I resort to pantomime to describe the issue more often than words.

Just this last week, I noticed a problem with the wood bundle wrapping machine. When I brought the subject up, Mike asked what did it sound like. Me flapping my elbows around with my hands at my throat and strangling myself, did not explain the problem. But Mike said that it probably needed to be greased. OK, I thought to myself, I am entirely capable of greasing a piece of equipment. I found a grease gun and walked confidently out to the barn where the wrapper machine was patiently waiting for attention.

I attached the grease gun ( a large grease filled behemoth with an action lever to pump lubricant into a contraption called a zerk-I can’t make this stuff up-that is the actual name for a little fitting that the hose of the grease gun slips into. The zerk keeps dirt and debris from getting into the spots where grease is needed, it has to fit snugly onto the grease gun so when the action lever is pumped the grease goes where it is supposed to.

I attached the grease gun to the zerk and was positive I had it snapped on tight. I began to pump the action lever but it only began to push grease before it didn’t anymore. It felt like the gun was empty, but when I tried to take the grease gun off the zerk fitting it was stuck tight. A pair of channel locks, a pair of pliers and a screwdriver got the gun off the zerk and I was no better off than when I first told Mike I had a problem.

Luckily, Mike is a master at filling grease guns with a 55 gallon drum of the goop he keeps in the shop ( the shop is one of those places where I dare not tread because if I move one thing like a screw or a wrench, Mike has a conniption because he cannot find anything-sometimes for days at a time). He filled the gun with grease and I again tried my hand at the problem in the barn.

When I thought I had the unit finally greased, I tried my hand at wrapping firewood bundles again, but the noise persisted. I had to return to Mike and the pantomime to explain. This time, he came out to the barn to hear the problem for himself. He decried that the unit did indeed have an issue (I think that is what I had been trying to pantomime all along, but dared not voice my concerns now that he was looking into the issue). At first Mike thought it was simply a zerk problem and that it was not allowing grease into the squeaky part, but that was not it. Come to find out that zerks can fail, and when they do they can be replaced easily by someone who is able to fix things. But changing the zerk did not fix the bad sounds coming from the wrapping machine.

Mike and a friend tore into the unit and explained the problem. I would describe it to you, but I think they were talking Swahili because I could not understand what they were saying aside from a few words like bar, shaft, sleeve and spacer thrown into the conversation. They greased everything up real good and put it back together.

The unit is still having issues, there are unusual noises when the arm swings the plastic wrap around the bundle, and now they have decided it will have to put back into pieces and taken down to the local machine shop for some extra work. Until they tear it back apart, I am going to get as many bundles wrapped as I can so as to not have a problem with inventory for deliveries.

In the meantime, you may see me wandering around the farm making noises like squeaks, squaws and groans until I am back up and running at the normal pace of firewood production.

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